What is Barebacking? Barebacking simply means having anal insertive sex without the use of a condom. In other words, when two guys are having sex one of them sticks his cock into his partners asshole and a condom is not put on the cock.
Is it Risky? Yes, of course. Having anal sex without a condom is considered unsafe sex because it allows for the exchange of bodily fluids such as semen (cum), pre-cum (that’s what leaks out of your cock when it’s sexually excited) and urine. Contained in such bodily fluids can be sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) such syphilis, gonorrhea, genital herpes, hepatitis, genital warts, HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) and other STD’s.
If it is so risky why do guys do it? Lots of reasons. Some guys do it because they say it feels better, or they say it provides for more intimacy with their partner. Others do it because they like living dangerously and living on the edge. Some guys, who already have the HIV virus figure they have nothing to lose. Other guys will tell you that having to stop in the middle of sex in order to put on a condom is a “downer”. Some guys are in long term monogamous relationships and have been tested and don’t have any STD’s so they figure that have very minimal risk of getting an STD as long at their relationship continues to be monogamous.
Some guys seek out sex when they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. When they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, their inhibitions may be lower which means they may not think to use a condom.
I’m not in a monogamous relationship but do have a couple of “fuck buddies” who tell me that are “clean”, is it OK if I bareback with them? Only you can make that decision. As long as you and your fuck buddies are adults then you can pretty much do what you want. But consider this. Every time you have sex with one of them you are, in reality, having sex with every person they have had sex with. If one of them had sex a few nights before he has sex with you and the person he had sex with has an STD, it is likely he may now have it and not even know it. In such a situation it’s possible he could pass it on to you.
Isn’t it True that Medication exist which can Cure Most STD’s? It’s true that medications do exist for many STD’s. But the REAL truth is that there are some STD’s that cannot be cured and if you get those STD’s you will have them for the rest of our life. For example, genital herpes CANNOT be cured. If you get genital herpes you will have it the rest of your life and you can pass it on to others. It won’t kill you, but it is a pain in the ass, literally. Usually genital herpes will appear as extremely painful, bleeding, oozing sores on either your ass or your cock. It’s usually the tops (the guy doing the fucking) who gets the sores on their cock. Can you imagine having bleeding, oozing sores on the head of your cock that are so painful that you want to scream every time your underwear touches them? And, it isn’t pretty. If the sores are bad enough that they will leave scars on the head of your cock. The bottoms (the guys who get fucked) usually get the sores on their ass, and again, it’s painful as hell and oftentimes will leave scars. That’s why we say that herpes can be a pain in the ass!
Hepatitis C is another STD that can’t be cured. There are meds that can help control it but the meds will make you sick as hell when you are taking them. Many guys describe the therapy for Hepatitis C as similar to undergoing chemotherapy.
And, of course, HIV CANNOT currently be cured. In some cases, it cannot even be controlled. Contrary to what you may have heard, once you have HIV you will have it for the rest of your life. The only way to get rid of it is to DIE. In order to help control HIV and try to prevent it from developing into full blown AIDS most guys have to begin taking very powerful medicines at some point. In many cases, the meds for HIV cause many debilitating side effects. Picking up just about any gay magazine you will find advertisements for HIV meds. Read closely what they really say. Nearly all of them in the small print) say that the side effects are: diarrhea, nausea, gas, rash, (in some cases life threatening) high cholesterol, elevated liver enzymes, diabetes, high blood sugar and other such nasty things as “changes in body fat”. The cost of the medications is another factor to consider. If you don’t have health insurance the cost can be enormous. Many guys are paying thousands of dollars a month for their meds. Even if you do have health insurance many of the HIV medications may not be covered by your insurance or the co-pays could cost you hundreds of dollars a month.
Some guys respond well to the meds and live very long and useful lives although those lives will be lived dealing with the side effects of the drugs and the monetary costs. Some guys do not respond well to the drugs. Or, they can’t handle the side effects so they quit taking the drugs. In those cases, HIV may develop quickly into full blown AIDS which then leads to opportunistic diseases which ultimately leads to death. Even for those guys who do respond well to the meds and don’t have that many side effects, what eventually happens to many of them is that they build up a resistance to the drugs and have to keep changing them until they ultimately get to the point that none of the drugs work anymore and at that point AIDS can develop very quickly.
I’m already HIV positive so is it OK if I Bareback? Only you and your sex partner can make that decision. Before you can answer that question you must consider several factors. First, you have a responsibility to inform all of your sex partners that you are HIV+. Not only is that the moral thing to do but in many states it’s the law. Some states have actually prosecuted individuals for having sex with others without informing them that they were HIV+.
Then, consider that even though you are already HIV+, do you want to take the chance that by barebacking you might pick up another STD that may make your HIV worse? For example, most HIV meds are processed through the liver and places a lot of strain on your liver. If, by barebacking, you pick up Hepatitis C, that will place even more stress on your liver since hepatitis c damages the liver and the drugs you will then need to take to help control the Hepatitis C may also negatively affect your liver. Other STD’s can also make HIV progress faster to full blown AIDS.
Another consideration is that many in the healthcare profession believe that it is possible to pick up other strains of HIV and that those strains may be resistant to the meds you are taking or to many of the meds that are available. If this is true then you can see where it would then be possible that the HIV within your body might reproduce quicker and develop faster into full blown AIDS.
I’m HIV negative, isn’t it OK if I bareback only with guys who are also HIV negative ? The answer to that is yes, IF you know for sure that the guy or guys you are going to have sex with really are HIV negative. The problem with that is how do you know for sure they are HIV-? Just because they tell you they are HIV- doesn’t really mean they are. Perhaps they tell you they are HIV- because, for whatever reason, they are afraid to tell you the truth. Maybe they don’t really know their HIV status. Or perhaps their last test showed that they were negative but since that test they’ve gotten it and aren’t even aware of it. The one thing to keep in mind is that if you are HIV negative and you make the decision to bareback with someone just because he tells you that he is also HIV negative, then you may be placing your live in his hands. The question you have to ask is…. “do you really want to do that?” Of course, the other thing you have to consider is all of the other STD’s out there. Your fuck buddy may be HIV negative, but he may have genital herpes or anal warts or some other nasty STD.
I’m HIV negative, what do you suggest? Only you can make that decision. Our personal opinion is that if someone is HIV negative they really should do everything possible to remain that way. HIV is no walk in the park. HIV is still killing people in the United States and across the globe. And the other STD’s that are out there can make you sick as hell and some can also kill you if you let them go untreated. And sometimes the treatments are painful and can also make you sick as hell.
You are the only one who can decide for yourself the type of sex you chose to have. It’s your body. You have the absolute right to have the type of sex you want PROVIDED you are an adult, you and your partner are informed and aware of the risks involved and the sex is consensual. No one should have the right to tell you what kind of sex you can have. If we lose that right, then we stand to lose other rights that we take for granted. For example, if the government can pass a law dictating that you cannot have bareback sex, then doesn’t it stand to reason that the government could also pass a law that says ALL gay sex is illegal? In many states is used to be that way. Think about it.